tsvetoslav shalev

But her madness, the majesty of her madness, still retained a mad queen’s pathetic coquetry: ‘You know, Doctor, I think I’ll need glasses soon, I don’t know’ (lofty laugh), ‘I just can’t make out what my wrist watch says … For heaven’s sake, tell me what it says! Ah! Half-past for – for what? Never mind, never mind, “never” and “mind” are twins, I have a twin sister and a twin son. I know you want to examine my pudendron, the Hairy Alpine Rose in her album, collected ten years ago’ (showing her ten fingers gleefully, proudly, ten is ten!).

Vladimir Nabokov, Ada or Ardor: A Family Chronicle

The other day I experienced “Suzume” (Suzume no Tojimari, lit. “Suzume’s Locking Up”) at the local cinema. It’s a 2022 Japanese animated fantasy adventure film written and directed by Makoto Shinkai. Mr. Shinkai’s previous film, “Weathering with You” (Tenki no Ko, lit. “Child of Weather”), was my introduction to watching anime on the big screen. That was back in 2020. Why does it feel like it was yesterday? No, I don’t recall the plot, but it must’ve caught (and held on to) my otherwise scattered attention pretty well since the moment I saw the poster for “Suzume”, I knew I had to watch the film. Moisture is what enables castles made of sand. Increased surface tension means stability. So when wetness dries up, relationships fall apart? I don’t know where I am going with this, but at least we have it in writing — moving on!

Whenever I choose to watch an animated film, it’s usually for entertainment purposes. You know, something innocent and light-hearted, a vibrant amnesia of silly dialogues and quirky audio effects. A colourful cleanser, reeking of hot snacks and fizzy drinks high in corn fructose syrup. I am also unkind towards the use of symbolism in these works of fiction. At some point, I’ve come to the (ignorant) conclusion that most anime scenarios are grasping for straws, anything and everything that could help glue a narrative together. Like a ransom note begging for some visibility, or the creator will suffer a lifetime of doing anything else but pursuing their dream. That was the mindset I had walking into the screen room, and sure enough, 30 minutes in, I felt my eyes rolling in their sockets. Who would’ve thought I’d be fighting back tears by the end of “Suzume”? Let alone feel compelled to write about it. Yeah, me neither.

My interest in Japanese culture began in the same way it did for most kids of my generation – through unwitting exposure to anime, manga, martial arts, and technology. That interest seemed to have died off in me by the time I reached age 20; then, rekindled anew in my early 30s with the help of literature (Murakami, Soseki, Kawabata, Ishiguro, Tanizaki) and YouTube vloggers, the retelling of their experiences living in modern-day Japan. Suddenly, I am old (and boring) enough to appreciate a country, its people, and their culture not just through the distortions of whatever’s pop and/or hip at the time but also – as is. There’s a great deal of ugly in the land of the Rising Sun, anger, frustration, and confusion to spare, but also a certain clarity of purpose in the face of unthinkable adversity. Layers of sorrow accumulated over generations, expressed not just through art, but attitude, too. The people of Japan seem to understand life in ways once unique and universal. And that’s where Makoto Shinkai’s storytelling shines. In his latest creation, one of the characters proclaims “We live side-by-side with death”, breathing life into one of those unspoken truths through Japanese to English interpretation. My personal perspective has always been that of someone in-between two distinct stages – the generations of those before me (most of whom have long since passed) and those yet to be born. So, in my mind’s bloodshot eye, death is either in the past or the future, but rarely in the present. Right now, our fellow humans are dying in droves and from myriads of different reasons. Side-by-side with death. Yet we only feel for ourselves.

I know each and every one of us has our own burden to carry. Trauma, like small shards of glass, cuts randomly, and it cuts deep if caution isn’t on one’s mind. This is universal and nigh impossible a war to win for good. And, it is where understanding tempered with time, kindness, and compassion could come in handy. We are together, though apart in body and mind. And as long as we share a timeline, we share this inherited pain. “Suzume no Tojimari” is solace made tangible (and even entertaining at times). Give it a watch if you have the time. It could be just the thing you needed in a long while.