What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the other—but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his interest, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humour, of his sadness—of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other’s sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. But in giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflects back to him.
– Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
Continuity. Losing a loved one or witnessing a relationship dissolve feels like the complete opposite. An abrupt cessation, a pocket of timelessness, the mind sinking in a thick molasses of what-ifs, bloodshot eyes staring at the growing infinity that divides and inevitably conquers us all. It’s hard to think of flux where love is concerned, harder still to feel kindness’s beckoning gestures. Unwilling, we go through the (slow) motions of being responsible adults, excited particles accelerating towards the unknown, in unvarying parallels of all-too-human despondency. Accelerating towards an end, to be sure, the great equalizer. Distilled, the memories of us will be all that’s left behind, provided someone cares to remember us in the first place; our dwellings reduced to boxes of stale air, dust particles adrift under golden-brown sunlight spilling lazily through dirtied windowpanes.
Rewind, we want to have a go at it again… but we cannot escape the constraints of the here and now. And so we try to make do with what we’ve left. One heartbeat at a time, hoping for some irregularity that comes with emotional positivity and intellectual sincerity. I don’t expect you to understand, no earthly reason to commiserate. Just see where I am coming from and walk away as fast as your thoughts can carry you. And love, for goodness sake!
tsvetoslav shalev 
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